First thing first, as a blogger I am half a failure and that’s a glaring truth. How bold of me to think I would have been able to be constant in posting here! So yeah, after yet another long period of silence I’m back again. I was thinking if I should just start to simply write as I always did, but it feels wrong to just move on to what is happening now (not much to be honest), overlooking all that was my summer experience in Denmark. In fact that’s why I am here.
I spent a few weeks in a small community that despite being indeed small, opened a world to me. It was as if it unlocked a window on myself, making me remember things that I had set aside for a long time, buried under boredom and dissatisfaction. That’s why you should always travel, to get rid of layers and layers of negativity, even if all you can afford is a bed in a room shared with 11 strangers and snacks for dinner.
That wasn’t my case, btw. I had my own private room and even too much to eat. Yes, I gained weigh, no I don’t care. Food is an important part of a country’s culture. I am back on my healthy diet anyway, so no harm done. Either way, to me one of the most important part of this trip is the reason why I decided to go in the first place.
Last year these days I was at the height of depression for several reasons. I felt stuck, as in a prison made by situations I thought I couldn’t change. The things I used to love, working as a freelance, being single and free, leaving in Naples, didn’t give me joy anymore, they felt like some punishment for something I didn’t know I had done wrong. My crime? Maybe I dared to chase tiny dreams, too afraid to dream big, or maybe I let other people tell me what to do way too often. In the meantime I saw my life flowing away uselessly, as if I were wasting my time in this world. And in many ways it was exactly what I was doing. When I just couldn’t take any more of it I realized it was one of those moments when either you drink or you drown. So I drank. What was in my glass? A good dose of self confidence, for a starter, mixed with some awareness that no one would save me. I had to do it by myself and I found the idea exciting, which was weird considering the apathetic mental state I was in back then. I decided to start from scratch, for which is never too late, and I decided that I had to identify the main problems first. As it turned out, one of them was that my life and my city felt too small and constricting, so the new beginning had to start from another place. Away from home.
It’s not like I put my finger at random on the map, but well, I almost put my finger at random on the map! Of course I could not go away for more than a couple of weeks without a bit of money, so I thought to put the two things together and look for a small job abroad. I mainly tried with the hotels, but almost everyone wanted people with experience or who spoke three or four languages, so I expanded the searches, I discovered famous web portals of which I was apparently the only one not aware of and I wrote to a lot of people. From the small Amsterdam restaurant to the European Parliament. The first to answer me was a kind Danish gentleman who happen to own an art gallery. It was like a huge sign of destiny written in giant neon letters. I have always liked art, whether to do it or to see it, I studied art history at university and being able to work in a museum was a fabulous idea. Who was holding me back? Same old fears… and a couple of annoying people who wanted to hold me back. I’m glad to say this time they failed.
So I left, I lived a piece of a bigger dream and I came back with the moral imperative of keeping the spark burning. That’s exactly what I am doing now and I feel so much better than 12 months ago.
What I actually did in Denmark? Learnt a lot about how to manage a business, sculpted a huge ass sculpture, visited amazing places I didn’t even knew existed and made new friends. I will explain in more details in the next posts, now it’s time for my beauty sleep this side of the world.